When I can’t do anything, I hop onto Craigslist and look for jobs and cheaper rental homes that might be able to hold our family with room for me to work. I don’t think we’ll end up moving, not yet, but it gives me a sense of power to look. While my husband job searches, there isn’t much I can do but help him search for jobs and cheerlead and network. (Which is actually a lot, but doesn’t feel like enough when I’m mostly waiting.)
That sense of searching, of needing to do, has me feeling restless. Last night I had a vivid dream that’s been echoing at me all day. In my dream, I was looking at a house to rent. It was perfect. But I kept trying to call my husband and my mom to tell them to come over and see it with me, and my phone wouldn’t work.
The house had a view of the water and a big deck on a second story. It had a huge bath tub and hardwood floors.
That’s about all I really remember, because dream details are always a mess, vivid while you’re in it and then surreal and scattered later. What remains is that sense of wonder and peace. I don’t know what it means, or if it means anything. But I feel like I’m in transition, and standing still. I’m at home, but drifting.
This may or may not be related:
