The Similac Formula Recall is Not a Punchline

I was a soy formula kid and you’re right, dude, it’s just not funny.

YEAH!!! WOOOOO!!! *claps*

Thanks for this, really. This was freaking great.

I felt like such a miserable failure when I couldn’t breastfeed my son but I’ve since come to terms with the fact that some women just can’t produce. We fought and struggled for six weeks and it was awful for both of us. I don’t have any plans to put my daughter through that. My son is beautiful, talented, smart, and a formula baby.

Amen. Here’s another analogy … no one found the egg recall funny. I don’t recall the smug people who have been (rather gleefully) reminding us that this can’t happen to breast milk, because it isn’t processed in an industrial facility, tsk-tsking those of us who don’t raise our own hens in the backyard. Unless you’re living completely off the grid in a self-sustaining way, a food or drug recall will hit your family sooner or later. And for most women who breastfed or breastfeed, it’s only a matter of luck that you were able to do so. Quit patting yourself on the back for being more enlightened than everyone else. Some simply didn’t have the choice.

Signed, adoptive mom whose daughter drank formula. Not only American formula but Chinese formula. And I KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING AND COULDN’T DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. Try living with that.

Damn straight!

I breastfed for 3 months before I went back on the pill (because I was CERTAIN I did not want to get pregnant again so soon) and the pill, as usual, caused problems for me – I could no longer produce milk. It broke my heart, and made me feel like a bad mom (especially since it took me a bit to figure out that my kid wasn’t getting anything good). Luckily, my kid had always been supplemented with formula, so switching to it wasn’t a problem. However, when I called the place I rented the breast pump machine from, to tell them what happened and once I said my baby was on formula? This idiot on the phone audibly GASPED, like I said I was just boiling the baby! That bitch made me feel certain that what I was doing was fine, and that her reaction was WAY out of place.
You do what you’ve gotta do. There’s no reason in hell to act like you’re better than anyone else for almost any reason, but especially to get judgmental over parents trying to feed their kids. Some parents don’t even do THAT much.

SO well said…*applause*

Thank you!! I would love to be able to breast feed but 2 of my 3 daughters did not come from my body. I can not take the herbs,supplements,and medication to trick my body into producing milk. If I didn’t feed my daughters formula they would starve to death.

Thank you for taking all the thoughts I’ve had swirling in my head the last 24 hours and managing to get them out much more eloquently than I ever would have. Can I get an AMEN?! Lactivism goes very, very wrong when people react this way. Compassion, compassion, compassion, with a healthy dose of education -that’s what the breastfeeding movement needs, not snide jokes and a superiority complex.

Damn, well said. I totally agree with you. I cannot stand the negative comments I have been seeing about the formula recalls. Who are the people who are joking about how breastmilk is better? Hello… we know that. But? This is not a joking matter. Also, I breastfed and formula fed. And I have no problems with anyone formula feeding from day 1. Each mother makes the choice that is best for her. I don’t see the humour in this at all – like you said, no one was joking when meds were recalled. It is sad and it is ridiculous!

Amen.

My holiday from Twitter meant that I was spared this one. Even still just reading this has me in tears. Again. And Katie is well out of the formula stage. I will never have another in that stage. So, ultimately, I am that person that people get to be smug about and make jokes about because I never successfully breastfed a child. If it weren’t for formula, my kids would not be here, so a recall of formula is serious, serious stuff and doesn’t deserve to be joked about or used to belittle people who, for whatever reasons, had to formula feed.

Just once, I wish some of those smug, obnoxious people could walk a mile in my shoes (and you know how much I would never wish Katie’s birth experience on anyone at all) just so they can understand that you can do everything right. Plan to the n-th degree and still have life happen to you in a way that prevents you from doing the thing that you want to do. And not for a little while. For good.

On top of all that, no baby is completely protected from the toxins in our world. If I ingest it or breathe it in — pesticides, pharmaceuticals in the water supply, or rat droppings in my peanut butter — it’s going into my milk supply. We all do the best we can, end of story.

I couldn’t agree more and definitely couldn’t have come close to saying it any better. I worked so hard to breastfeed my daughter. Paying for lactation consultant visits, scales. Feeling guilty, using a Medela SNS and crying with each weigh in. My hypothyroid caused me to fail at something I was determined to do for my child and no one should feel that way no matter what the reason. Like you said, you have to find what works best for you.

HELL YEAH!!! I don’t have babies but I agree with this 100,000%. And I’m glad you said it.

HM

thank you, there is nothing more hurtful to mothers everywhere than all this judging. I wish we could all agree the goal is happy healthy babies, and that we all do WHATEVER it takes to get them there, and that will be different for everyone. IMHO, if you’re judging and belittling this issue, you must have some pretty dark skeletons in your own closet.

Good for you! I completely agree. As someone who cannot breastfeed because of past breast surgery, I hear that stuff all the time. And it hurts. Thank you for being a supportive, not harmful, breast feeding mother.

I have so much guilt because I desperately wanted to breastfeed my baby but circumstances made me choose formula and then the recall was just the icing on the guilt cake. Thank you so much for this blog post- Over the past few months, I’ve read a lot nasty posts from other moms who are so harsh at judging formula feeding moms and reading something this supportive and understanding, really meant a lot to me. Thank you again

I think it’s fairly obvious that those comments were directed at the millions of people who think that that either a.) formula feeding is superior, or b.) it’s just as good or c.) who cares what’s better – I can’t be bothered to breastfeed. We all know these people exist in far greater numbers than those who’d love to breastfeed, but simply cannot.

I formula-fed my first son and I was never offended by lactivism. I didn’t get all sensitive when people took shots at formula (and let’s face it, this recall is a really easy shot) because I knew I had to formula feed at that time. Why would I feel guilty about something I knew I had to do? Either do something and own it, or don’t get mad when people point out the obvious flaws.

Also, I know plenty of people who made shots about the egg recall and the drug recalls because they don’t eat eggs and don’t feed their kids pharmaceuticals. We need to be focusing a lot more of our efforts on making donor milk more available for those moms who cannot breastfeed, and increasing breastfeeding awareness, rather than making it more comfortable for everyone to keep formula the status quo.

The target of shitty comments doesn’t make them any less shitty, to me.

Self-righteous nasty attitudes give absolutely no traction to efforts like trying to make donor milk more available. When people act nasty in the guise of “increasing breastfeeding awareness” all it does is give a bad name to those who want to help make breastfeeding the norm in this country.

I don’t think most of the comments are “self righteous nasty attitudes.” I think they’re comments from people trying to expose the lie that formula is the safe alternative to breastmilk. The fact that so many babies are fed something containing bug larvae should outrage people, but I don’t understand why the hostility is always directed back at the people pointing out the obvious. I’m sure Similac is thrilled that people are coming to the defense of formula though. That poor corporation… how will they ever sell products after this recall? Oh wait…

There’s a very good chance you haven’t seen the comments and jokes I’ve seen and am reacting to here. They were, in fact, quite nasty.

If you knew a shred about me you’d know that I’m the last person to come to the defense of corporations.

This is, to me, an issue about attitude and human decency. No one is saying “aw poor Similac, let’s not be mean to them.” I mean seriously. Seriously?

I think we can all express outrage without be jerks to each other. As other commenters have mentioned, this issue goes way beyond formula. PLENTY of companies are churning out products that are contaminated. In fact, plenty of companies are churning out products *cough Johnson’s Baby cough* that are generally accepted as safe when they’re not.

I’m all for agreeing that Similac is in the wrong here, 100%. But I don’t think that makes it fair play to be smug and gross about it. Not now, not ever.

WORD!

Every day, I’m am thankful that my children aren’t babies anymore. Want to know why? Because I got tired of being told I was poisoning my children. I am a mom who fed my children formula. I wasn’t able to breastfeed my first. She was a month early, she had trouble latching on, my milk didn’t come in and she had to get nourishment. I had to give her formula. I did it, I was thankful for it being available and I never looked back. I don’t regret it. All three of my children were bottle/formula fed.

In truth? I knew I’d be going back to work full time when she was eight weeks old. I didn’t let it bother me. My mom was formula fed in the 50′s and she has a Ph.D. I knew it was best, to breastfeed…yet I also knew that my daughter would be perfectly okay being formula fed. She’s intelligent. She’s healthy. She’s athletic. She’s amazing. After her, I knew the other two would be fine too. They are. We are fully connected and attached to each other. All the horrible things thrown around, the things that WILL happened to your poor innocent child if given formula…they didn’t happen.

Yet, each time this comes up again, I try to avoid it. To step away. To not read. Because people are downright horrible. Breast is best. We all know this. But here I sit, with three perfectly formed (no extra ears around here, I swear), intelligent, amazing children who were all formula fed. Why should I be told I poisoned them? Why is that okay? Why is it okay to say horrible things to a brand new mom, because she choose to do something different, or had too out of necessity?

Like I said, in some ways, I’m glad they are past that point. Because at least the harsh filled words, the evil glances, the accusations aren’t at me anymore.

I think so much of it is in the delivery. Yes, we should all be outraged by Similac. Absolutely. But tweets like, “hah! glad MY boobs don’t produce beetles” (which is pretty much the tone of many tweets I saw yesterday) are NOT helping the cause, and the only outcome from a statement like that is a formula feeding mom is going to feel worse. Yes, we *know* boobs don’t produce beetles. That’s not spreading information that’s going to inform more people about the benefits of breastfeeding. My problem isn’t with the activism itself, it’s not with the outrage over Similac allowing this to happen, it’s with the delivery of that outrage… and the timing.

this post is rad. so right on. aren’t we all tired to death of judgement??? be self-depricating, that’s timelessly humorous. but digging everyone else? always too soon, too much.

You are awesome and I love you.

I formula fed my first, and am breastfeeding my second. I was using similac with my first and would have with second if i hadn’t been able to BF this time around. While i’m glad i don’t have to think about it for myself, the first thing I did when i read this was march across the street and tell my neighbor who DOES use similac, and let her know so she could deal with it as quickly as possible. Because it’s the right thing to do…

Thanks for this, Maria. It’s like someone saying “Well, you should never give your kids Tylenol so nah nah” when that whole recall occurred.

I suffered through a year of a TED. I was fortunate to never have to pump in a bathroom, suffer from mastitis (knock on wood), or any of the other 1000 things that make breastfeeding very challenging for some women.

To just brush things off as “well, breast is best” doesn’t help ANY mom breastfeed. It only makes people who couldn’t feel worse. And it certainly doesn’t make me (someone who’s breastfed for around 53 months total) feel any better.

THANK YOU for this.

well put. couldnt agree more. you said it perfect.

One of the best posts I’ve read regarding this subject. I wanted so desperately to breastfeed my daughter, but my milk never came in, despite my trying for nearly a month – A FREAKING MONTH! to make it happen. I hated every second of feeding my daughter formula, but it was the only option I had and it totally sucked to be looked down upon by people who had no clue what my story was.

Right on!

I don’t necessarily think that everyone who is making these comments (and yes, I agree, they are shitty) are making them to hurt those who can’t breastfeed. In fact, many of the comments that I’ve seen have come from males who, uh, can’t breastfeed and I didn’t take offense to them at all. It’s simply people trying to be funny with witty banter, much like you have done (and continue to do), and I really think that you’re looking a little too far into it. That said, I do agree with you and I do think it’s insensitive and all that but in my (very humble) opinion, I just don’t see it as an attack on those who can’t (or choose not to) breastfeed.

Thank you! I too have read the remarks regarding breast milk not being recalled and I think of my daughter who gave breastfeeding everything she had in her and then some, to finally find out the problem wasn’t her and her ability it was her little man and the fact that he is completely lactose intolerant. He couldn’t have her breast milk if she were producing every ounce he would ever need. Thus he was changed to a soy based formula and immediately he started growing and finding peace after eating, until the past several days when he was extremely fussy and had more spitting than normal. Guess what?? … The can of powdered formula we were using is among those being recalled!! Thankfully I found the announcement shortly after it was posted and he was immediately changed to another formula, this time a concentrate, and we are watching him closely now to see if the fussy/spitty baby issues resolve themselves. It’s scary knowing that your baby may have ingested contaminated formula and all you can do is wait to see what happens.

And to clarify the ‘witty banter’ comment, I’m referring to Twitter or blog posts in general, not this specific subject.

Amen, thanks for putting this out there, it’s amazing what three words ‘breast is best’ can do to me. I think we all know it is, and scientifically it’s been proven, but when I was going out of my mind 1 week postpartum and I didn’t know if I was going to survive another day, hour, minute, second, breastfeeding was just not a priority at the time. Looking back, do I regret it? Yes, but this is not the time or place to start in on that crap again. There are scared mothers out there right now and not only are concerned about formula, now they are concerned about tainted formula, let’s support them as we did with all other recalls.

Couldn’t agree more. So glad someone directed me here. Because I feel the exact same way.

I’m a breastfeeder, and I have many friends who are, but I also have friends who haven’t been able to, so they feed their babies formula. And their babies are fine. One of my friends was feeling really guilty that her own milk supply crapped out and she had to supplement with formula, and she started to cry, and I said to her “This was something beyond your control – it’s not your fault, and it has nothing to do with what kind of mom you are. You’re a good mom.”

And that’s what really matters.

Oh my LORD, I read a tweet by mckmama that said that about breast feeding and I almost ripped someone a new one! That pisses me off beyond belief!!! Do you care if I link my blog to yours on this post? I love it!!!

love this post, especially the title. i wrote about this today too. i formula fed my son after 7 month, and for a long time i fed him similac. i was disgusted about some of the things i saw coming from women i otherwise respected. someone this morning posted on FB that women should be able to take a joke and not persecute breastfeeding mothers and i was appalled. there’s NOTHING funny about sick kids and this isn’t some middle school tit for tat issue. we’re all moms, doing the best we can, and we need to be there for each other.

There aren’t even words for how much I heart you for writing this lovely post. Not only did I formula-feed both of my children, my older (5 y/o) daughter was conceived through IVF. When many people hear that, I might as well have 2 heads. But obviously, she was a VERY wanted baby & EVERY decision made for her health & well-being has always been very carefully researched-and unfortunately, that meant NOT breastfeeding b/c some of the medications that I had to come off of during pregnancy *had* to be resumed, and they passed through breastmilk. But she & my 2.5 y/o son are happy, healthy & of advanced intelligence for their ages, so I’m not worried about having formula-fed. I only hope that by the time they’re ready to start their families, women will be more supportive of each other in this choice, rather than continuing to tear each other down.

Maria! Wonderfully written..

“Life happens. Formula happens. You know who formula happens to, in particular? Women who can’t breastfeed. Fathers caring for babies on their own. Adoptive parents caring for babies….. ”

Put a little reality in the entire picture. I am a mother who luckily was able to breastfeed for about 6 months, but even as I tried and tried and tried to get every little drop out, I eventually just ran out… it happened and I pumped and breastfeed every day! Now my baby is on Similac and it just disgusts me! The whole thing is indeed shitty but this blog really made me feel a little better.

Thanks!

I cannot thank you enough for speaking out for us formula using parents! My 2 month old was born 6 weeks early and never developed the suction needed to breastfeed. Despite pumping every 2 hours 24 hours a day for 5 weeks my milk never came in. I was devastated. Thanks so much!

Maria – you are a voice of reason today. I was going to blog on the recall today but you said it all so perfectly and profoundly and well so much more nicely than I could have. I read the comments, and I think most people here covered what I wanted to convey. So let me say “Thank you” and let me also say that I hope people read this and get a clue – that you need to think before you tweet, before you blog about such topics that touch at the hearts of us as mothers.
As a mother, who is a breastfeeding advocate and has breastfed all her children but also supplemented with formula – we must be careful when we stroll in our high horses, because often times the horse will fling us off of their back onto our asses to humble us.

Well said.

Thank you for asking. I don’t mind.

I was a formula kid as was my first son. With my second, I’m really working hard to keep pumping now that I’m back at work full-time, but it is hard. It’s hard to feed a child, PERIOD. The minute I saw the recall, I knew that there would be the comments on both sides, neither helping each other do what we have to which is feed and nurture our babies.

Plus, you are so awesome for posting this.

That’s fair, dude. Like I said to someone else, I doubt we all saw the exact same tweets anyway. I stand by my stance that quite a few people are being really rude.

But I’ve certainly been rude before. My approach is often pretty crass. I don’t think many folks are straight up attacking people who choose to or have to formula feed but when health and safety are at risk, I think it straight up crosses a line.

Considering that many of the tweets I saw were from friends of mine, I’m not trying to say everyone who joked is evil or awful! I just (obviously hahaha) found the attitudes very upsetting.

Thanks for writing this Maria. You are so right. I actually did retweet one of those comments this AM on Twitter about breastmilk never being recalled and I followed it up by a comment about wishing breastmilk banks were more affordable and covered by insurance. But you are right the retweet of the comment wasn’t well thought out. I was retweeting because it was humorous – but this isn’t a humorous situation. I do wish that there were better options for moms who choose not to or are not able to breastfeed. I can’t even imagine how scary a situation like this is for them. I have several friends who formula feed – either because they didn’t want to breastfeed or because they couldn’t. I wish for those moms, that insurance would cover breast milk from a milk bank – so that even though they are able to or choose not to breastfeed themselves, they can still have the option of giving breastmilk to their babies.

Like a few others, I would very much like to repost this on my blog (with full credit and a linkback, of course). Please let me know if that’s all right. http://www.climbinguptheslide.com

“A bunch of baby formula had bug parts in it. And I don’t think that’s funny.”

You’re right. It’s not. It’s appalling and it makes me sick. Thank you for passionate words.

You said what I tried to say in my post yesterday much more eloquently. Thanks for writing this.

I love you. Immensely. So well writen, so well thought out, as always.

Thanks. I’m glad formula exists because people need it–like the 10-month-old baby of a mother who committed suicide last month (my sister’s neighbor). Thank goodness we have it. I have been dairy-free while breastfeeding both my children (one for 4-1/2 years, the other 6 months and counting) and while that works for me, I am thankful that I can and glad there are options out there if I couldn’t.

First of all, how fucking disgusting. Seriously. Second of all, Kudos for this post. I totally agree that breastfeeding advocates, should be gentle and kind and not smug and have a holier than thou attitude. It’s the same with religion.

I didn’t even try to breastfeed my son. I knew that my anxiety would cause major issues for both of us, me being a first time parent, moving cross country when he was 8 weeks old, and well, uh, having MAJOR ANXIETY. It would have been a bad combo all around. It’s not to say that I didn’t have the desire or the curiosity too. Had I thought it would have been something that we could have conquered, I would have given it a shot. But that’s my business, you know? No one else’s to judge. With my daughter, we were in a little bit better of a place. We were settled in a home, and yet, I still feel like I was dumber than a bag of hammers for considering it with her, mainly because we were going through “is it Autism? Is it not Autism? But I plodded on anyway. It was hell and she wasn’t exclusively breastfed. I chose organic formula as supplementation. And I never felt guilty in my decision in terms of what other people thought, but I did feel guilty giving her formula, because of issues like this. Quality control. Lead, shards of glass, BPA, melamine. The FDA lets these corporations get away with a lot. And it pisses me off.

Thank you so much for this post. As an adoptive parent both of our children were formula fed. Our son’s birthmother had TB and our daughter was in an orphanage in China. There was no choice, it was what they needed to survive. Our daughter was in China during the time of the contaminated formula. It is scary to think that she could have been harmed by something she needed to live. Both of our children are happy and healthy today despite formula.

On point. Thumbs WAY up.

I usually shy away from breastfeeding/formula posts because they are so controversial. And many times down right mean. But this post is perfect, Maria. The focus SHOULD be on supporting those families who are concerned about whether or not they fed their child tainted formula and not trying to make them feel that this is some sort of consequence for not choosing to breastfeed.

Thank you for writing this.

Totally agree! And I have to say–I’m a huge fan of your blog and follow you on Twitter and what not and so I was a little nervous about stating my opinion. Is that weird?! Anyway, I agree about several comments/Twitter/Facebook posts crossing the line and being disrespectful re: the recall. I guess some people are just assholes and don’t think before they speak?

Thank you for this excellent post. I tried for weeks and weeks and was ultimately unable to breastfeed my twins. They were formula-fed and were, and are, healthy and perfect and awesome. (Unbiased, of course.) But I still harbor guilt over my “failure” to breastfeed, and things like this recall and many lactivists’ reactions to it are like salt in the wound.

I am pregnant with my third child, and would be lying if I didn’t hear about this recall, shudder, and say to myself, “you’re damn right I’m going to breastfeed this time.” But I, of all people, know it’s not that simple, that formula isn’t poison, and that people who formula-feed are trying to do the best for their families, like everyone else.

Anyways, thank you for this post.

Thank you! For this reason, there is a special place in childbirth educator and birth doula hell. Many of my fellow birth professionals simply do not seem to notice how we seem to people outside our small world of birth. And, we seem like jerks sometimes, I am ashamed to say. We seem to lack compassion, to lack finesse and to only be capable of advocating our positions with snarking and shaming. I saw on twitter the other night some doulas saying they would rather work with a woman who was high-risk but against interventions than low risk & wanting interventions. I was horrified. Left that chat, can’t cope anymore. How does that sound? It sounds like women considering the “less perfect” path do not deserve support. We must learn to trust women, trust mothers. Have mercy. Thanks for posting this today.

awesome article!!!

I agree with you. We do have to be careful with what we say and how powerful or words might be. I think of my girlfriend that wanted SO bad to breastfeed, but she is on transplant meds (she by the grace of GOD got a life-saving liver transplant) and she can’t as it will be in her milk. It’s not good to rub a decision that broke her heart into her face with something like like.

And even for those moms that could breastfeed but could not. Their innocent babies may have been impacted.

I breastfed my daughter & feel greatful that I was able to do so. Hoping that I will be as lucky this time around. At the same time, I know many mothers who formula feed thier babies, for one reason or another, some by choice & others, not. My heart goes out to those mothers & especially the little ones! What really irritated me when reading through forums are the formula feeding mothers who were smug & praising the other formula companies, such as Enfamil & Good Start. That’s when I had to remind them that those formulas, too, have been recalled in the past. Just because one formula is recalled this week, doesn’t mean that another won’t be recalled next week. Now is definitely NOT the time to be saying that your way of/formula brand for feeding baby is better. What we should be doing is making sure that our formula feeding mommy’s, whether they be family, friends, neighbors, or whatever…are aware of the recall, so they can stop using it ASAP! Don’t kick someone when they’re already down!

Why can’t we be proud of our decisions and abilities to do what is best for our babies? I know when I posted “Thank goodness breastmilk can’t be recalled!” I was speaking from: “Thank god I have the ability to nurse my children and don’t have to worry about any of these issues!” not a statement implying I was better than anyone.

The scary thing is, one mom even commenting she had rather take the risk of her child getting HIV in donated breast milk, rather than give it formula. Amazing…

I was not able to breastfeed my son – though I did try… and for about 2 or 3 weeks I pumped and fed him that but let me tell you what… when you are caring for a disabled infant alone… it gets VERY tiring – and quick. I started running into nights where I had not eaten in days, or slept in days… and eventually I just had to stop pumping – I didn’t have the time for it anymore.. As much as I wanted to make time I just physically couldn’t. I sympathize… Facts are facts – yes breastmilk is better for your child BUT formula is not a bad substitute when you have no other options. There are people out there that CANT breastfeed for one reason or another. My son just couldn’t latch on – and I didn’t have the energy to keep pumping after not sleeping for days on end. All that matters in the end is that you be a good responsible parent and keep your child fed.You ladies and gents want to criticize these parents for opting for formula – I vote instead of rage flaming here on them who are atleast trying to be responsible parents – go rage flame at the parents who don’t even give a shit about their kids. You have to also think – the parents that use formula over breastfeeding do know that Breast milk is better not only because it boosts the childs immune system BUT they can see it in cost. FORMULA IS EXPENSIVE but if you have no other choices… well what the hell are you going to do?

Thank you so much for this article. I’ve been reading the hurtful comments you are referring to everywhere! I had breast surgery and complications that resulted in me having to take medicine to help me breastfeed. We made it three months. It took me a month to notice I had a problem, and for the last 2 months I’ve only made 5-7oz a day! I’m thankful that formula has helped me through this. After reading the comments you are referring to, I feel like a failure, when I know I shouldn’t. I’m worried because I was feeding my daughter the recalled formula, and she did get A LOT more fussy than normal since I started her on the recalled formula. Coincidence? Maybe…but I just wanted to say that your article mad me feel so much better! Thank you again!

This is probably somewhat off-topic, but thank you for clarifying for me why Katy Perry + Elmo didn’t go together.

There is NOTHING wrong with saying “At least my breasts don’t get recalled” It is No Different than saying “thank God I grow my own garden” when our produce is recalled.

Breastfeeding is something to be proud of and a lot of us work hard to give our babies every single ounce we can. I am so sick of these stupid mommy wars.

This is a health and safety issue. PIF can be dangerous even when it isn’t contaminated with beetles and larvae. Be safe with your babies, however you feed them. If that means PIF, then make sure you are using it properly and safely. World Health Organization: http://www.who.int/foodsafety/publications/micro/pif2007/en/index.html

There’s nothing wrong with being proud of yourself, but I think you’ll agree that your statement and statements like, “There are NO beetles in breastmilk” are different. There is a different tone and connotation that can be taken from it.

But that statement is true. (Unless you have a diet that chooses to includes them. ) It can be a hard line to walk trying to consider how every person *might* perceive anything you might say. It is one thing to try and be considerate, another to just flat out not realize who might consider your comment as incendiary. If you asked the people who did word it like that, I don’t think they would say it was a stab at those who needed to use the formula, but at the formula companies insinuating that formula is just as good, if not in words than action.

I’m amending my post on this to include a link to yours. This is brilliant. Thank you for adding some common sense and sensitivity to this ridiculous situation… http://bit.ly/bBUkCH

“A bunch of baby formula had bug parts in it.”

No, they THINK that SOME formula MAY have bug parts in it. And guess what? It probably already had some in it, since there is a legal limit to bug parts per million for all food.

Amen!

You are so right. As a pediatrician, I always emphasize that, while breastfeeding is best, it is okay for a mom to give her baby formula when the breastfeeding is not working. I joke, “There are just as many doctors, lawyers, and CEO’s who were bottlefed as breastfed.” I definitely think we pediatricians need to find better balance in advocating for our patients, while supporting parents, no matter what the circumstances.

I love this. Thank you. I was one of those women who just couldn’t make breastfeeding work. I wanted it to work with every fiber of my being and felt guilty (and still do) that it didn’t. I can only hope it will with my second. I know the benefits, and the lack of them in formula haunted me, but I fed my daughter because she had to eat. If our formula had been recalled, I would have been totally stressed about it–without having to be reminded of how not breastfeeding my child made me an inadequate mother. So, thanks for seeing both sides of this complicated issue

[...] This post is awesome. I don’t know this woman but I’m a new fan. [...]

Seems like people don’t really know what’s in formula. Bugs should be the least of their worries. They may even be the most nutritious thing in the can. *shrug*

I formula fed my first daughter (because I couldn’t get breastfeeding to work) and hope with all my might that I’ll be able to BF my second. So, obviously, I don’t fall into category A, B, or C.

With that said, however, I have to tell you, lactivism did not offend me. It just made me realize what I was missing out on. Comments like “ha! glad my milk doesn’t produce beetles!” just kind of jab the knife in a little deeper. When you WANT something to have worked and you feel like a failure as a woman and a mom because it didn’t, comments like this make you feel small.

I’m all about breastfeeding awareness. In fact, had my rural community had more support (we have one LC in a 100 mile radius), I can’t help but wonder if I would have had a more successful experience. Like you, I wish we could keep the lactivism on HOW to make BF happen, rather than dissing the formula feeders.

Just because a statement is true doesn’t mean it needs to be said. We consider context ALL. THE. TIME. and presumably teach our children to do the same thing. You don’t tell your kid that it’s okay to look at a new classmate and say something outrageous, though utterly true, right (for example, those are weird glasses, even if they are)?How is this situation different from that? Yes, the statement is true, but does it honestly need to be said? No. Not in this context. People who have enough to deal with shouldn’t have to listen to rude comments just because they also happen to be true. There is a time and a place for everything. Maria’s point, I think (and she’ll surely correct me if I’m misreading) is that this is not the time to “pile on” to the formula feeders out there. This is the time to offer sympathy and that’s really about it.Whether it’s a stab at a formula company or not, the people who have to rely on formula (and I am one) get caught in the crossfire of comments like these. The corporation couldn’t give a rat’s behind about what the snarky comments made. The only people who can possibly be hurt by them are the people who have to use the formula.

I’m a breastfeeding peer counselor, and I see moms to be all the time who CAN’T breastfeed. Can’t, not won’t. Moms who have been victims of sexual traumas, moms who have to be on life saving medications that aren’t able to be used while breastfeeding, moms who have to go back to work 3 weeks postpartum and can’t afford a pump or have a company that simply won’t give them pumping time.

Those moms love their babies JUST AS MUCH as I love my breastfed ones.

This has to really suck for them, and being snarky won’t help. At all. Ever.

It just makes lactivists seem like insensitive assholes.

Self-righteousness bugs.

And your proposed alternative would be? I mean seriously. How does that help?

I couldn’t breastfeed. Period. End stop.

There were no breast milk banks in my area at that time.

What alternative do you propose in that situation?

And if that comment isn’t supposed to make a formula feeding mother feel like crap, then what exactly is it supposed to do?

OK, confession upfront: I’m not a mother, never have been one. A link to your post just happened to pop up in my Twitter feed, and I read it. And here’s what I have to say, which I don’t think anyone else has yet pointed out:

First: Moms, I’m not here to judge any of you. Were I to become a mom, which I think is probably not ever going to happen, I’d probably have to find an alternative to breastfeeding myself, because I’ve had breast cancer, surgery and radiation on one side. I understand that for all of you out there who might want to breastfeed or who know breast milk is the ideal baby food, there are many who just can’t, and have to come to peace with it, and the last thing you need is a lecture, especially from a non-mom. So: Brava to all of you, all of you just doing the best you can to raise your kids the best you possibly can, whatever the circumstances. No one has a right to tell you you’re doing it wrong.

But in the case of this recall, especially, they don’t have a right to be smug when they tell you you’re doing it wrong. And why not? Not just because today it’s baby formula and a few weeks ago it was eggs, and a few weeks from now it could be bagged salads again–which is completely true. But because of this simple, if depressing, fact: There’s no way to be absolutely, utterly sure that, given the pollutants in our environment and the ways they can be bodily expressed, that nursing moms can be guaranteed there ISN’T something bad in their breast milk. Maybe not beetle parts, no. But something else that may be even more dangerous to their babies.

And THAT’s downright angering, and should be enough to slap the smug right off the face of every nursing mother and turn her into someone who wants to do something about environmental pollutants. Instead of sitting there breathing a sigh of relief, “knowing” she’s “better” than those stupid inferior moms who feed their kids formula that could, heavens, be infected with beetle parts, for all they know!

In other words, fighting the “mommy wars” is damn stupid when there are enemies out there attacking both sides! Maybe it’s time everyone got together, and fight the REAL enemy!

Of course, it may never happen. I imagine it’s a lot easier for some moms to just sit back and tell themselves that at least they’re a better mom than this one and that other one. But it doesn’t make their kids any healthier. Not in the long run.

♥Thanks♥

Judy, you are always so reasonable about all this craziness. Thank you lady.

Great post. I busted my ass to make it six months of excessively breastfeeding. I went back to work three months ago, I travel for work frequently, and my pump output is just not stupendous (despite the fact that I’m hooked up to this sucker about 5-6x a day). I dragged my kid on business trips just to meet that goal. My daughter turned 6 months on Sunday. I used my last bag of frozen milk a few days earlier and just started supplementing LAST WEEK. With recalled Similac. I felt ill about this all day, and reading things like you mentioned is killing me.

I’m not a mom but thank you so much for writing this. I’m all about choices and people need to quit judging. And fantastic point about fathers and adoptive parents.

THIS.

Retweeted, hope you don’t mind.

I stand heartily by your post. You can never extend too much grace and dignity.

Thank you for this post. I am one of the moms that has been unknowingly feeding beetle larvae to my sweet 10-month old boy. And I am mad…about a few things. I get sick of high-and-mighty breastfeeding mothers who throw their success in my face, especially as I am reeling from this news and sick with worry for my child. With my four-year-old, I breastfed for a year. It was quite easy then. I was a grad student working part time and I was with my baby such that I could feed her. This time around, I work full time. I have to. Period. I got a pump. I tried to keep up with pumping while also keeping my job to sustain my family. It was beyond hard. I have a thyroid problem and for three months, I was on medication that I could not feed him with. I pumped and dumped and could finally feed him again. I continued breastfeeding until he was 8 months. I tried, I cried and eventually I switched to formula. It was horrible for me, and now to know that he has been getting bug guts in his belly, the last thing I need is for someone to tout their superiority. Next, what the hell is wrong with the country that at any given moment my kids will be ingesting a freaking beetle—even if “it will only produce GI upset—thanks FDA for that clarification. Ugh. I should be able to walk into a grocery store and everything there should be safe, maybe not the “best” choice—but safe. Thanks again for putting all this in perspective in your post.

My daughter is 4 1/2 months old and exclusively breast fed. You know what I thought when I heard about the formula recall? Well that really sucks! I think 99% of people out there feel the same way, its the 1% that are assholes that stink up the joint.

Also, down with mommy wars, why can’t we just support others choices without judgment?

I am a breastfeeding mom (never used formula *thank god*) Oh wait, is that rude? Is that making moms feel bad? Do I need to censor everything I say about how babies ought to be fed? Why is it that our opinions on just about everything else in the world are ok to be said out loud except for bf vs formula feeding? So formula feeding moms don’t feel guilty? Yes, breast is best. We all know this. SOMETIMES it doesn’t work out but in most cases it can work out and as Gina pointed out, there are plenty of obstacles in our way. Birth, bad hospitals, annoying in-laws, etc. Ever wonder how we all survived until the last 50 years or so. I guess that I am not concerned with making people feel bad, I want them to feel ANGRY! Angry at the booby traps that are purposefully put in front of moms to make breastfeeding near impossible. I was one of those moms today saying , thank god my breastmilk hasn’t been recalled! I’m not on Twitter so it seems that there were alot of people saying not nice things but my meaning behind it was the same as when I checked if my eggs were in the recall. Thank goodness they weren’t! Or when the tylenol recall happened. Thank god I don’t medicate my kids! That’s not being judgemental, it’s just stating a fact that I am grateful for. Nobody should feel bad about any choices they make as long as they are making an informed choice. I wonder if we would be saying the same thing if we were talking about a forward facing 6 month old? We would all be outraged at the parents saying how could you put your baby at risk. More milk banks, more education, better hospitals and OBs etc are the way to put Similac out of business.

Wow, you’ve convinced me. It’s *totally* funny to make jokes about young babies getting sick from tainted formula. LOL!!!

wow. You are really, really clueless. But good for you for being able to make breastmilk! Here’s a medal to put on your chest.

I agree 100%.

Funny, I’m not angry that I couldn’t breastfeed, yet I can guarantee this comment makes me angry. It’s also interesting that you are willing to come in here and say we should be outraged about formula, that moms who use formula could have tried harder to BF, effectively trying to make people feel bad, but aren’t willing to leave your blog name/Twitter ID.

Okay now that I am less SPAZZED OUT and have had a chance to think, I understand most of what you’re saying here. However, you seem to be making allowances for people being mean to MOTHERS when what you’re communicating here is that the problems lie within with systems of support for these mothers. Why justify bad behavior toward formula feeding moms? Why not keep that anger leveled evenly at the lack of support/education provided to brand new moms?

Well I suppose breast milk could be recalled. Not by the government of course but by a mother. Say you pumped a bunch of breast milk and gave your baby a bottle of it and it turns out you ate something that your baby is allergic to or has some kind of reaction to and now it has tainted all this pumped milk. Then you would have to take all that milk back out of the fridge/freezer and throw it away. You would also have to monitor your child and fret over their health and take them to the doctor if need be. As a mother who tried desperately to breast feed and ultimately had to formula feed, I believe breast milk is the best thing for your child. But perfect? No.

You’re a jerk.

Its not funny I agree-
but you sound more pissed off about snobby breastmilk types than at those responsible who perpetuate the whole breastmilk substitute distribution problem…I wonder why?

Do you wonder why? Please go on. I’d love to hear your theories.

Some people(by ‘people’ I mean militant-psycho-scary-BFing-mamas) just need to realize that life happens.

But GUESS WHAT???? Life WOULDN’T happen for hundreds upon thousands upon probably millions of babies who survived infancy because of one thing- *gaspshock* FORMULA!

How dare the evil corporations DARE to provide us with a way to keep our children alive when our own bodies fail??? They should be put out of business and anyone who can’t afford breastmilk from a bank or a wet nurse should have their children taken away from them…. or we should just let ‘em die!

Because, you know, breast milk is best.

For me, it’s not the ‘Thank goodness I breastfeed’ comments that are upsetting. It’s people who say ‘well maybe this will turn more people on breastfeeding’. This statement assumes that those who give formula had the ability to breastfeed, but chose not to. These are the statements that are so very upsetting. We KNOW formula is not as good as breastmilk. I would give anything to right now be one of the mom’s saying “thank goodness I’m not effected by this recall!”, but I’m not. And it sure as heck wasn’t my choice.

Rock on – I am nursing my son for what seems like forever because of a huge list of food allergies. So often, when I nursed him in public, women would come up to me to share their problems or challenges breastfeeding, or the fact that they just “gave up”. It makes me sad that we have set up a system where formula feeding moms feel they need to explain themselves to strangers – do what’s best for your kid. Even though I am nursing, I respect the fact that you made a different choice.

Brava, very well said. I must have come in on the tail end on Twitter yesterday because I only saw the offical news recall tweets and none of the comments but I can totally see why people would find that insensitive and also, you know me, a forever-breastfeeder but my mind didn’t even go there. I’m sad that the situation has to even happen.

Steph

I didn’t read all the comments, but I agree. Both of my girls were breastfed. But you know what? One night when my younger daughter was only 2 months old, I got sick. I had to be taken to the ER because I was in intense pain and couldn’t stop vomiting up coffee grounds (later was explained to me it was blood… YAY!) Anyway, the doctors couldn’t figure it out. I had to have tests. I brought my daughter with me because I had NO back up to leave with my parents who were with my older daughter. Well, I had pumped and frozen milk but it was 4 am. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Anyway, I couldn’t feed her in the hospital because of the drugs they gave me. Guess what? She had to have formula! At the time, I wasn’t thrilled with it after all the years of the breast is best garbage. But is breast milk better when it’s loaded with morphine? When the pain of anything going against my abdomen starts me vomiting again? No. It wasn’t worth it. At least not to me. The nurses at the hospital were kind enough to bring my hungry baby a bottle of formula from the maternity ward. Then when I showed signs of gallbladder problems, they had to do a nuclear test, which if you don’t know what that means, they injected me with nuclear medicine and did a scan to see if my gallbladder was functioning properly. I couldn’t nurse my daughter for 3 days. Was I thrilled? No. I was sick of pumping by the time it was done and I was sick of washing bottles and mixing formula and all things involved with formula. I had a new respect for formula feeding parents.

My mother tried to breastfeed me. She ended up having to give me formula after awhile because I was hungry. I would scream for hours every night until she realized she wasn’t producing enough milk. She had to work and her office (this is 25, almost 26 years ago) wouldn’t provide a place for her to pump except a broom closet. The stress of having one child in college, two children in high school, a nursing infant and a full time job and a blended family caused my mother’s milk production to creep to a halt by the time I was about 6 months old. I’m healthy, I have a Bachelor’s degree, I don’t have two heads or a tail. My mother had to do what she had to do. Just like other parent’s have to do what they have to do.

I’m sorry this is so long, but I’m sick of all this breast vs. formula fed garbage. I really am. If your baby is healthy and loved and all your babies needs are taken care of and your baby isn’t starving to death, what does it matter if its breast milk or formula filling that precious tummy? I, personally, say it doesn’t matter at all.

Again, sorry this is so long. And thank you for the post. It is beautifully written and a wonderful sentiment. More power to you, Moms and Dads, whether you formula feed or breast feed.

Seriously, dude.

I don’t know how many counts of child-abuse I’ve committed by feeding both of my daughters formula after my boobs decided (not once, but twice!!) that they were just here for decoration.

It’s disgusting that there are people saying such things about this whole debacle in the first place. The women making hateful and snarky comments need to shut the fuck up and bake a cake or do some yoga or something.

First: quality control is a huge problem and it affects more than just infant formula.

Secondly: women have very real reasons why they cannot breast feed. Not just now, but throughout history. The term wetnurse may seem like a joke to some now, but it was a life saving role that spans history and saved infants lives when their mothers were not able to breast feed. formula has just taken the place of the wetnurse for several of reasons including the fact that AIDS and other pathogens are passed through breast milk.

I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer while I was breast feeding. That put an end to my breastfeeding.

.

My Breasts DID Get Recalled.

so what would you call it if your doctor told you to stop breastfeeding because you got a disease that could be transmitted through breast milk? There are plenty of pathogens that are passed through breast milk. That sounds like a recall to me.

absolutely – we need to be paying more attention to the pollutants in our environment – which can make their way into breast milk as well.

By the way, I was diagnosed with breast cancer while I was breast feeding. While I was going through all the terror of am I going to die and who’s going to take care of my baby – the judgement about not breastfeeding from people who didn’t know what was going on – and quite frankly it was none of their business – was a little too much to take.

You are sooo f’ing right!

In particular? Me, at 3 weeks post-partum when the ambulance rushed me to the hospital with an infection raging through my body, the pain so excruciating I was wishing for death, I was very thankful for formula. And best friends and family. My little baby had formula and love and all the things I could NOT give her those 4 days in the hospital.

And my SIL is snarking on FB as I type this.

Thank you.

this is not an either/or, its a both/and. I am a breastfeeding mother, and quite proud of htat accomplishment (I fed my first two to the WHO guidelines and am currently exclusively nursing a 4mo). I also have friends who are foster mothers and have no choice other than formula. I am proud of my breastfeeding achievement (it HAS been work, and a fight at times with a society that only supports “that” as long as they don’t have to see “it”). I am also enraged that other babies are being exposed to things that can make them since – including and beyond beetles – in their sole food source.

As for environmental toxins, this is an issue the WHO has already addressed. In an environment that is polluted, it is still preferable for a mother to breastfeed – mother acts as something of a filter for the pollutants (that the baby would be exposed to through the water, formula, etc, if bottle-fed). There are a lot of babies in the US who are bottle-fed not because their mothers wanted to get out of breastfeeding, but because there are so many barriers to successful establishment and continuing of breastfeeding for biologically normal durations – even with a good pump, it is STRESSFUL for a mom to maintain a supply after returning to work (and our maternity leave policies are ATROCIOUS compared to other developed nations), even if she has a good pump and no actual issues with it, it’s still time she has to go above and beyond what other employees have to do (and prove that she’s worth keeping as an employee at the same time so the boss doesn’t find some other reason to fire her in this economy). Just the added stress of constantly dealing with pump cleaning, milk containment/temp control/transport, baby transport, etc on top of all the other issues that come along with being a mom in modern America can be overwhelming and hard to balance in a cost/benefit analysis. For some moms, from healthy stock with healthy babies, it can be a very close judgement call for the individual if the risks of formula might be worth the sanity boost mom gets from not having to deal with all that extra effort during the work day so she can save her energy for enjoyijng the baby when she’s able to be WITH the baby (and to these moms, I strongly encourage trying to “mixed feed” – breastfeed when with the baby, formula when away, if that might work for them). I have been BLESSED with the PRIVLEDGE of being constantly with my babies when they needed to be fed, never REQUIRED to be away from them for more than the time they could go between feedings, but that is not the case with so many households and I acknowledge that. And I push for the US to catch up with other countries in parental leave policies, so hopefully our children won’t face the same tough decisions in this regard as we do.

And yes, I have a home garden to avoid some of the environmental toxins. Then I caught my neighbor scraping their 1927 house’s probably lead-containing external paint without proper lead protocols being followed, and little more than the driveway separates our garden from their house. Sometimes it feels like you just can’t win! But we’re more likely to succeed when we work together.

Sorry for any typos, nursing at keyboard.

If you feel guilty about your inability to breastfeed, then you should deal with that. I hear hurtful comments about spoiling my co-sleeping child, not providing them with a good education by sending them to public school, loosing out on their childhood by working or whatever else. But do I let it bother me? No, because it is what my family does, it works for us, and that is what matters. Same goes for this. If you have to use formula, so be it. It may not be the perfect scenario, but it is what your family needs, then accept it and don’t allow someone else’s comment bother you.

I’m breastfeeding, and I’m pretty sure my daughter has eaten bug parts before! Has nothing to do with breast or bottle, that kid puts anything in her mouth!

excepttttt…… i breastfed all along and DIDNT CHOSE to stop breast feeding, I chose to LIVE and SEE MY CHILDREN grow…. because i was going to DIE if i didnt take the medicine… that is NOTHING liking growing your own garden. I get what you’re trying to express, but you couldnt be more wrong. Sorry.

Oh my god. Get help.

Despite formula? I would say formula helped them survive and thrive.

You know what works better than anger? Compassion. Try it sometime!

You don’t even make sense. Before you post something accusatory and unsubstantiated, perhaps you should ask some genuine questions and engage Maria in a conversation. Or at the least – poke around her blog a bit to get a feel for what she stands for. Because if anything, Maria is authentic and transparent.

I am incredibly annoyed by your comment.

This made me laugh!! This would totally be my daughter! It’s a daily chore just to keep her out of the garbage… and from eating shoes… and anything that she can fit in her mouth.

I noticed you were pretty against Best for Babes linking to this. It sounds like “blogs” offend you. I’m sorry you were exposed to this blog and the “mommy wars” when they clearly agitate you.

I hope you understand that while I choose to write here on my website, it doesn’t make me all that different from you fundamentally. I exclusively breastfed both my children for 15 months and 19 months. I worked my ass off, like I said, to do so.

It wasn’t relieved comments I reacted to but comments making light of the recall, making fun of the fact that it was bugs in the formula. I think that’s hateful and counterproductive, and it’s just as simple as that.

I’m truly bugged (heh) that people chose to make this about the breast vs. formula debate when all I was calling attention to was a need for a little compassion.

Well said as always.

I have been off twitter for most of the day and didn’t know you’d posted this. I agree whole heartedly and only wish that the post I wrote this evening (on a very similar topic) was as eloquently written.

Great work, Maria. xo

Thank you for writing this, Maria. Truly. I was one of those moms who tried in vain to breastfeed. It was the lactation consultant who finally just told me to give up because no matter what I tried my milk didn’t come in. I would have LOVED to breastfeed. But no milk, coupled with a preemie who couldn’t latch meant formula feeding. Formula is what kept my daughter alive. What I didn’t anticipate was sitting in a mall, giving my baby a bottle and having women come up and tell me what a horrible mother I was for not breastfeeding (yes. true story). So I cringe when I hear stories about formula tampering or recalls. Because there really are those people who sit there with a smug ‘I told you so’ attitude. And it’s not necessary to make a mother who can’t breastfeed feel worse about an already crappy situation. Unless they want to volunteer to go out and breastfeed the babies for those mothers who can’t, they need to show some compassion.

I get nervous about, I dunno, EVERYTHING. Don’t feel weird. Also I don’t think before I speak many, many times. So I get that. Thanks for sharing your POV.

I get nervous about, I dunno, EVERYTHING. Don’t feel weird. Also I don’t think before I speak many, many times. So I get that. Thanks for sharing your POV.

You are AWESOME! And, totally right as it happens. I’m one of those people for whom breastfeeding didn’t work as advertised. I nursed my first (absolutely hell, with infections, bleeding nipples, too much milk etc) for 13 months. I nursed my second (not nearly as bad, but still problematic) for 8 months. But my third… he only got six weeks of breastfeeding before I refused to go on. It was as bad (or worse) than the first time. And I knew deep down, that after 3 tries, I’d done all I could; it just wasn’t going to get better. So, I made the decision to pump and bottle feed. I made it six months, six months of spending a full third of my day pumping, feeding and sterilizing because it was so important to me that he get breastmilk. Finally, my supply dwindled and I was forced to change to formula, which of course worked just fine. Today I have 3 very healthy, happy, really smart boys; but just had to defend myself from a thoughtless comment about “only feeding my son for 6 months”
“Only”… why do people think they have the right to judge. She has no idea what I went through, and the worse think is… of course she’s not alone.

Implying she feels guilty in the first place is exactly the issue. She seems to be trying to get others to see a different point of view, not trying to air her guilt. Encouraging someone to deal with it isn’t compassionate. I breastfed my first two children exclusively until they were 14 and 16 months, but with my almost 5 month old I had to take an antidepressant that was not compatible with nursing. My milk was gone within days of beginning drug therapy, and there was nothing I could do because I was bordering on catatonia from postpartum depression and it was the last line of meds I could try before I was unable to care for my children. I made the decision to take the risky for bfing medication and be a healthy, stable mother over martyring myself to prove a point that I am obviously a more caring slash clearly superior mother for breastfeeding. You guys can have your smug satisfaction, I’m cool with having a very healthy baby and two unaffected kiddos who have a present, emotionally available mom.

You make me want to take the 24 combined months I spent breastfeeding my 3 kids back so I don’t have to associate myself with self righteous douchecanoes like you… By the way, all of the milk banks in the world couldn’t put Similac or any other formula comanies out of business because there would never be enough willing donors to meet the demand for women that can not slash choose not to breastfeed. If they all went out of business, babies would go hungry and die… But hey, that would cut down on all of those pesky formula feeders and feminists who believe in women being able to make their own choices in the first place, huh! And one more thing, I bet you don’t have a rabbi check your greens when you eat a salad, do you… Cause those leafy greens you rinse off a few times still have TONS of bugs on them when you eat them. Maybe you should recall your breastmilk after you have that free range antibiotic free low cal chicken ceaser.

Umm. I’m as crunchy as they come but lady, you need an attitude adjustment. By all means, let’s heap more and more bad feeling upon our stressed-out, guilt-ridden fellow parents, because maybe that will make them angry.

Bad news, though, it will only make them angry at YOU. Simulac may be a soulless, uncaring corporation who is only using them to make profits, and who is cutting corners in a way that is placing their children’s wellbeing at risk. Unsympathetic or ill-trained medical professionals, unhelpful employers and ‘the system’ may well make their chances of successful breastfeeding lower. But you, sweetheart, are the one getting all in their faces, up close and personal, and actively TRYING to make them feel bad.

So that they will get angry.

Because that’s what an adoptive parent, medically-critical-drug-supported mama, mis-informed teen or single father really needs. Anger.

Straighten your halo, mama. It’s slipping something fierce. But on the up side…you managed to make me angry. At least long enough to write this post before going to bed. Props to you.

Wow Maria. I’m just glad I wasn’t around Twitter or facebook yesterday, because if I’d see that judgement going on, it would have made my blood boil. Seriously. Why can’t women and especially mothers, just stand together and be there for each other? My mother had five children, during a time when breastfeeding wasn’t the done thing. We were all bottle fed, because that’s what she was told to do, and guess what? We are all healthy, active, participating adults, who were rarely sick as children. I did what you did. Struggled to breast feed and do it well. It didn’t come easy with my first child at all. It was a hard battle to keep doing it, until she reached a year. With my son, it was much easier, but at nine months postpartum, I had severe post-partum depression and had to take medication. So it was choose to take medication that would help me get better, or continue breastfeeding my child and fall apart? How can people even say something like breastmilk doesn’t get recalled? I mean, it’s just plain arrogant in my opinion.

Anyway, thanks for speaking out. You’re so right when you say that we all put things in our body every day, taking risks when we do so. It’s insulting to parents who choose or have to bottle feed to judge them based on something like this. It’s using an unfortunate situation to imply guilt, the worst form of passive aggressive vitriolic that I can think of. Bravo. I appreciate your words, as I’m sure do all the great parents out there, whether they breastfeed or not.

Two big thumbs up for writing this!

As an exclusively nursing mom myself, i must say i agree with your positive message for formula feeding moms.

I’d like to share in light of this huge recall an article about Baby’s Only formula for those moms who were using Similac and are considering changing formulas, or for those who know a mom who is using Similac (or similar) who could benefit from reading this. This article does a really good job of compiling the consensus of many moms and natural health critics who have come to use or learn about this formula, in only 9 pages. It really is the highest quality, safest alternative to breast milk we have on the market. If i was ever forced to stop breast feeding, this is the only formula i would ever use. As a self proclaimed lactivist, it’s the only formula i would ever suggest somebody else to use if all other methods of giving your child breast milk fail. I don’t speak of it blindly, this formula was given to my child during the first month of it’s life. I hope this article finds some of you well.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1792824/babys_only_organic_toddler_formula.html?cat=25

Um oook.

What does your comment have to do with mine? Seems like you made the best choice for your family. So what’s the issue? You’re bothered by the fact that people said, “I’m glad my breasts aren’t recalled?” I really don’t understand how your comment relates to mine.

Your post was VERY well written and after all, it is your blog. Blogs don’t offend me. “Companies” that post a link to something and then don’t have anything to say for themselves bother me.

However, your blog post said “is why people think this is an appropriate time to snicker about how breast milk doesn’t get recalled.” Snickering about it? No, that’s crap and rude. But stating the OBVIOUS and being thankful for our choices should not be discouraged and that’s exactly what BFB was doing (and does a lot). I wanted BFB to stop re-posting everything in the world from everyone else and actually stop squelching BF moms. It’s times like these we should be helpful to the FF moms who are affected by these but also patting ourselves on the back for the choices we’ve made. We can be empathetic to others and also thankful for what we have done/been able to do.

It’s like the whole “Don’t announce your pregnancy on this board because you might offend someone that has had a miscarriage.” SERIOUSLY?! I have had 8 pregnancies and have only 3 living children. If *I* can be happy for someone announcing a pregnancy I sure as hell expect others to do the same. Grow up and quit acting like the whole world revolves around you.

If you’re on a BREASTFEEDING SUPPORT GROUP page and saying “Thank God I breastfeed.” and that is squelched because someone who couldn’t/wouldn’t/didn’t gets offended? I don’t get the logic.

Very similar to a person who does believe a certain religion and then going to that religion’s place of worship and then getting offended because of it….

Sorry, I could go on forever. Thanks for reading and thanks for taking the time to respond.

Great post! Very well said!

Thanks for clarifying a little, I think it helps! The thing is, I could have been more specific but I didn’t want to just flat out re-post the comments I saw. In fact, some were from friends of mine. But I can totally assure you that I wasn’t reacting to people being RELIEVED or PROUD that they breastfed.

That’s a hot button for me too. I’ve blogged on several occasions about my joys as a breastfeeding mom and how proud I was to nurse exclusively for 15 and 19 months. I had to struggle through knowing that I’d get negative reactions from women who had their own issues and insecurities going on. We all have to remember that saying “I’m proud of _____ aspect of my parenting style” doesn’t mean “I think _____ aspect of YOUR parenting style sucks.”

The comments I reacted to and wrote this post because of were literally saying things like “LOL, ____” about the recall. Laughing, jokes, etc. Without seeming to take into account in any way that parents were panicking and babies could become ill. All I’m really trying to say here is that it isn’t funny, it just isn’t.

And as a breastfeeding activist I AM very sensitive to when other breastfeeding activists say things that are harmful and hurtful. I think it hurts our already negatively-perceived efforts.

Anyway just to be 100% super clear, I never intended this post to be a slap on the wrist to moms who are RELIEVED or PROUD that they breastfed. I think a lot of moms read it that way because they’ve previously been exposed to other sensitive individuals who see the words breastfeeding and see red and get defensive. It’s a nasty cycle. Sigh.

As for Best for Babes posting it, well I still don’t see why that’s an issue. I’ve been posted on there before when I wrote about nursing in public, about not thinking I should have to cover my breasts, about how people were starting to be jerks to me when I nursed beyond 12 months. I’m as real a mom as anyone else who “likes” their facebook page and comments on it, and I think it’s important for them to represent a variety of breastfeeding moms and activists. We’re all different!

Now I’m just rambling.

Thanks for saying it was well written, btw.

I agree with you. I just don’t like the SPIN it took on the BFB page and it’s not that I have a problem with them reposting things, I would have liked to seem them respond a little more thoroughly. They have a hard job… I can’t imagine the PR nightmare they have.

this is one of the reasons i never bought a shirt that said “i can make people” on it. i thought they were incredibly cheeky and i really, really wanted one, but didn’t want to make someone feel bad that they couldn’t have kids. my sister-in-law is currently deciding whether or not she can or should carry children & it would break my heart if i make her feel like a shitty person because she physically can’t have kids. am i over-thinking a shirt? maybe. but at least i’m thinking and applying the compassion i talk to my kids about all the time.

I have not been involved in this debate much, I haven’t had a baby in a long time and since I am battling infertility baby subjects hurt me. But REALLY? When with this debate end? And while so many mothers are panicking over what they could have fed their babies, people want to rub in their “superiority”? GAH.
Breast is best, but not everyone can breastfeed. And you know want not everyone WANTS to breastfeed and if they don’t, it’s none of anyone else’s damn business!
In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter. I don;t think their Yale application will be denied for being a formula fed as a baby!
What does matter, is this recall. It’s terrifying. I would be so upset if I had a child on that formula.
Stop being so petty everyone.
Unless a child is being abused.
What a mother does with her child is none of your business.

Thank you!
I actually cried reading this, b/c breastfeeding still makes me incredibly upset. It was a horrible experience for a lot of reasons, most of which revolved around the fact that NO MATTER what I did, who counseled me, who squished my boobs and pinched and prodded and showed me how to get it in his mouth correctly, or the weeks that I spent trying my damnedest (tubes, and shields, and all kinds of other weird contraptions) to get it right, my son refused to breastfeed. And I still am emotionally traumatized.
SO-thank you for being so compassionate to those of us who wanted it with every fiber of our being, and simply just couldn’t do it. Because it’s not fair when others are not understanding.
God Bless.

Thank you so much for writing this. When I had my son I debated about breastfeeding because I was prone to depression – I stopped my meds when I was pregnant – but should I breastfeed and risk severe postpartum depression or should I go back on meds and use formula? I had a long talk with my former pediatrician whom I trusted VERY much. She said, “a stable mother is more important than breast milk. This is one of the reasons formula was created.”

I don’t like having to defend myself to folks that don’t know my story and don’t know my reasons. Plus, I shouldn’t have to defend myself. Formula is out there for a reason. For people who can’t breastfeed, who have tried but baby doesn’t take to the breast, is allergic to the milk (my son actually was lactose intolerant as an infant and HAD to have lactose-free formula), or whatever reasons moms have.

How about those babies who are born in prison or born into withdrawal? Formula was created for those babies that are not able to be breastfed, for whatever reason. If a mother chooses formula, there is a reason – it’s not my business or your business or anyone else’s business as to why… The baby is being fed, isn’t that the important thing?

Self-righteous people who tweet the nastiness don’t look at the other recent recalls – the egg recall here in the upper midwest – and the recent peanut butter recall – and vegetables and fruits and meats and everything else that has the opportunity to come into contact with human hands… which is everything… if a breastfeeding mother eats a food that has unbeknownst to her has been contaminated with something, the breastmilk could be contaminated as well…

okay that went on a tangent a bit, but I felt i had to make a comment about this.

Thank you for blogging on this

I am a breastfeeding mom and my first thought when i heard of the recall was
wow im so glad i dont have to worry about that. It was NOT a attack on mothers who cant breastfeed in any way! I am careful about what i put into my body and yes i do know that the milk i feed my baby is healthy. Breastfeeding does make a healthy baby!

“I breastfed them both and worked my ass off to do so.”
I love that line…why or why is it soo difficult to breastfeed? .
I am currently breastfeeding and despite pumping in every possible place to keep the milk going, I still need to supplement with formula.
I have nothing against mom’s who exclusively ff and I am admitedly jealous of those who can exclusively bf.

THANK YOU!!!!!!! I just found out about the recall today from my mother (and not twitter, I can’t believe it!) and my almost one year old has been strictly on Similac formula since I gave up pumping (supply was LOW) at four months old. I’ve had only one good breastfeeder out of three kids and I consider myself somewhat experienced in the whole “feeding babies” genre. BUT. If this had happened when I was a new mother, to my first baby who WOULD NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME LATCH!!!, then I would probably be a whimpering puddle of goo on the floor right now.

The fact is, the way we feed our babies is an extremely sensitive issue these days and I’m just SO tired of this line in the sand with formula feeders on one side (btw, my middle child nursed exclusively for 15 months) and breast feeders on the other. So, tell me, where should I stand? In the middle? Yep, because I’ve done both because my children had to live and short of cutting my boob open and getting the milk to spill into their mouths, 2 of my babies just wouldn’t.

We need to get over ourselves already. And now, I’m off to the store to get some Enfamil… (and I’m not saying that to be sarcastic or snarky, just telling the truth…)

I do not think they are snickering. Just stating the obvious. And frankly, those of us who breastfeed always seem to be on the defensive defending our choice to do so or defending the duration. Being called awful words, such as breastfeeding nazis. Would the word nazi with all its terrible history be placed on any other “group?” I have breastfed all 4 of my children and have counseled nursing moms for almost 15 years now. I support the moms in wha ever their decision may be when it comes to breastfeeding.

The fact is that until something like this happens, as terrible as it is, people really do not understand how dangerous formula can be due to poor quality coming from the manufacturer—there have been earlier recalls–more serious, where the formula either had not enough or too much of a certain nutrient. This can have very serious consequences on the health of the baby–to include brain damage. I have also been around moms who did not take the mixing instructions serious enough–again, not mixing the formula and water in the correct amounts can be dangerous to the baby.

Formula does have its place. Certainly, without it, some babies who because of a metabolic disorder cannot have breastmilk, would die; and, yes, some moms physically or emotionally cannot breastfeed, again, formula is necessary.

I think this recall should be a wake up to not only seriously considering the true repercussions of not breastfeeding, but to have better regulation of the formula companies.

My baby is 12 weeks old and I am only producing an ounce or less at a time. I give my baby all the bm I can. I have tried EVERYTHING out there to increase my milk supply – fenugreek, Reglan, using an SNS, pumping pumping pumping – and still I have to use formula. We have NO milkbanks where I live (even if i could afford it). I had to take back our similac today and feel so discouraged. Thank you for this post. I am STILL trying to bf, but some moms just can’t and truly have no other options. Thanks for not judging those who TRY to do the best for their children that they are able …

No one is claiming extra ears will pop out on the sweet babes that get formula. That’s just silly. The real statistics are about the whole life chance of obesity, chronic illness and even cancer. Things we ALL have a chance of getting. I think the idea is that the optimum nutrition will create the optimum potential. Just imagine even better health and lifelong wellness…that’s the goal we are all trying to achieve for our kids.

I know when I prepare a breakfast for my 6 year old that isn’t “optimum” nutrition I cringe a little. Just as I did when my daughter had to have a formula bottle. It’s not going to hurt them, but it’s not the best I can do, and I always want to do my best for my kids. As we all do. The priorities are our own choice though, and what is best for us. A happy mom is a good mom.

I was told that. I literally was told that formula would give my child a third ear. It’s almost funny now when i think about it. Almost.

For the record, I do want the absolute best for my children. I don’t believe that formula causes obesity or heard disease or cancer. (Not anymore than the chemicals in our water and air. Or eating McDonald’s or anything else we all can choose to do as adults.) I just don’t buy that. I didn’t cringe each time I gave my babies a bottle. I was honestly relieved the first time. I guess I need to be honest here, I bottle/formula fed my last two by choice. I always knew I’d need to do both with my first, but after ending up needing to just formula feed her, I choose that path with my second and third children. My reasons are my own.

I do not feel badly about that. I’m sorry if people have a problem with it, but it’s my reality. My point is that yes, while I do know that breastfeeding is best. I also know that it’s not what everyone can do and I just don’t think we should finger point at people because of it.

The reality of this issue, is that instead of pointing fingers at a formula company for a recall (which hi, happens often with other companies…beef, spinach, packaged salad, eggs), people are pointing fingers at formula feeding moms. And that is not okay.

Actually people were making jokes. I’m not sure how much more explicit I can be about this. Like, actual jokes containing “LOL” and “haha” and you know, jokes.

I don’t like being on the defensive about breastfeeding either. Or anything, for that matter.

Frankly, I don’t like the attitude that a woman doesn’t deserve to choose to use formula for WHATEVER REASON. Even if it’s, “meh, I don’t feel like breastfeeding.” She should have the right to use a product to feed her baby that isn’t tainted and we should all support quality control in every avenue directed at our children.

I believe in following WHO ordinances when it comes to MARKETING formula but I think it’s absolutely obnoxious to say that a woman doesn’t deserve that choice.

I breastfed. Extended, in public, etc. I believe in it. I’ve had to be defensive. I’ve had to fight for those who were being messed with. And for those reasons I think we should all just chill the eff out and stop being judgemental. Is it that hard to understand that? I mean, seriously.

Again,

1. JOKES. WERE. BEING. MADE.
2. I’m actually a big ol’ breastfeeder myself and I’m kind of flabbergasted that people missed that point.
3. Breastfeeding education and support NEEDS TO BE BETTER and I believe it can only get better with compassion and love.

“thank God I grow my own garden”

Would you say this to someone that had been sickened by the produce recall? Because that is what is happening here. IMO all the author is asking for is a little compassion for the parents, because they are the ones these comments hurt.

I did not see anything like that—I do believe you though. Again, I agree that formula should be safe and changes need to be made in the safety of the manufacturing. As far as choice, yes, all women should have that choice–but I admit that I do have an issue with the choice that puts the baby at greater risk–which is what formula feeding does. I will not go into the list as I am sure you are well versed in it. This said, I will not judge or make rude comments, such as I hear all the time against breastfeeding. I also believe that the medical community needs to do a better job in educating parents on breastmilk versus formula, so that the parents can make an informed decision.

I agree with what you have written. I have a nephew that was adopted. Obviously breastfeeding was not going to be an option and you know what? I’m glad they were able to feed him.

It’s a shame this entire recall had to happen and it doesn’t help the situation to be snarky to the parents that have been effected. I do think people should own their choices and accept the fact that, though this is not fair, in light of all the recent recalls (eggs, tylenol, beef, peanut butter) it really can happen to anything, including formula.

Just like formula feeding moms probably don’t really care or support the fact I had a tongue-tied baby, bloody nipples, and a horrible time nursing for the first eight weeks, I don’t really see how breast feeding moms are being insensitive when they state the obvious – breast milk isn’t subject to quality control so it is never recalled – it may indeed carry toxins that pass over to baby, but they don’t have to answer to the FDA, only to themselves.

Great post, I enjoy reading how other parents feel on hot topics.
http://piggytoesnevernap.blogspot.com/

I don’t think stating the obvious or being proud of breastfeeding was insensitive. Making fun of the situation in a snarky way, which happened in a majorly widespread way, is insensitive.

I mean, I hate having to spell out this distinction but “I’m glad I was breastfeeding and didn’t have to worry about that,” is not the same as “No bugs in MY boobs, LOL!!” or “Formula isn’t safe, see?? Haha.” Maybe I’m splitting hairs here? I have no idea.

A HUGE part of it comes down to the medical community needing to support moms from the VERY start. Moms can really only support each other so much when it comes to medical info. New moms in the hospital who WANT to BF or are CONSIDERING BFing need all the help they can get in those early, rocky times when it isn’t actually all that easy to breastfeed.

The issue here is TACT, COMPANY and TIMING. The fact that some mother’s are claiming what they are saying is innocent even though it is commented in social forums where the awareness of a recall is being spread to women to formula feed is just ridiculous. How can some of these women maintain their comments were said in all sincerity and are innocent? Comments like “Good thing breast milk isn’t recalled” or “There are NO beetles in breast milk” are dripping with sarcasm and facetiousness. Of course breast milk wouldn’t be recalled… why even say that unless your intentions are to be sarcastic?

No question about it– after a recall such as this, mothers who use this formula are freaked out by the news and thinking “Oh my god, I hope my child doesn’t get sick!”. The last thing they need is commentary from women who obviously could careless about what they might be going through.

Beetles aren’t in breast milk? *Gasp* No way! I’d like to talk to the genius who produced that comment. Where would we be without Captain Obvious?

Quoting “RealMommy”: “Thank goodness breast-milk can’t be recalled.” This comment would be fine if said in a forum of other breast feeding mothers who were talking about the Similac Recall. However, in response to a warning to mothers who formula feed or in the company of formula feeding moms that comment is most definitely selfish and inconsiderate. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that.

EVERYONE knows that breast-milk is best for a baby. Anyone who denies that fact is possibly ignorant to the facts, is in denial because they don’t want to feel like a horrible mother, or has a child LIKE MINE who is allergic to breast milk. I breastfed with my daughter, and was unable to with my son. You can’t imagine how inadequate it makes a mother feel who is unable to breastfeed but was truly trying and wanting to.

It’s awesome that you and other women are able to breast feed, it’s also great that you are proud –BUT have some consideration for mothers who can’t and instead were affected by the recall.

It is the same common decency that other women or mother’s should show to other women who are strangers. Here is an example: Have you ever saw a woman who looked like she may have been pregnant but you were unsure? I think EVERY mother knows the stupid comments you get whether before, after or during pregnancy so if you were unsure about if they were pregnant you wouldn’t make a comment about it. It is common sense. You just don’t say some things you know might hurt someone’s feelings. How many women complained during their pregnancy about the stupid comments they received. Has that all been forgotten… did you not learn anything?

Just as you shouldn’t walk up to an over-weight woman who was eating a hamburger and say loud enough she could hear “Thank god I had that salad today…” It doesn’t really matter what context you say that or the other comments– it is the timing, the company, and the way in which that view is expressed.

Quoting TheFemistBreeder: “I think it’s fairly obvious that those comments were directed at the millions of people who think that that either a.) formula feeding is superior, or b.) it’s just as good or c.) who cares what’s better – I can’t be bothered to breastfeed. We all know these people exist in far greater numbers than those who’d love to breastfeed, but simply cannot.”

Obvious, huh? You know what is obvious? It is obvious that that comment is completely tactless and most definitely a comment made from someone with a self-righteous nasty attitude. That comment is in no way shape or form directed at the Similac company but towards formula feeding mothers. I do not know one woman who is a formula feeder (whether by choice or circumstance) that believes that ” a.) formula feeding is superior or b.) it’s just as good or c.) who cares what’s better – I can’t be bothered to breastfeed” so your assumptions are incorrect about the majority of formula feeding mothers.

In fact your comment “We all know these people exist in far greater numbers than those who’d love to breastfeed, but simply cannot.” is dripping with venom and is such an untrue sweeping generalization.
That is a biast statement for sure. Who is “WE”? From what I have seen from the general consensus on this blog– not all formula feeding mothers are uneducated or do it because they put their needs before their babies– the majority are unable to because of health issues, lack of production, etc, etc. Also, I don’t see any other women agreeing with you on that statement.

It seems like some women who think they are such great mothers lack the most important abilities necessary in order to be a great mother– compassion, patience, understanding, and an open-mind. Formula feeding doesn’t make a mother any LESS of a mother or more REAL. Direct your anger at the company–not the victims.

Oh, how I loathe this kind of thing… I was both breast and formula with both, and I feel fine about that. I’m glad there weren’t any beetles in the stuff I bought, but for goodness sake, just feed your baby. In the way that works best for you. That is all. Any kind of nastiness around that from either camp can suck it.

I LOVE the way you addressed this issue. You stated facts, your opinion, and never once sounded superior or self-righteous concerning the decisions you’ve made.. You, my dear, have class up the yin-yang.

I am 51 years old and have raised two daughters and am helping raise two grandsons. I’m kind of surprised that you guys have the time for these kinds of arguments. You haven’t even begun to deal with all of the decisions you’ll have to make or the problems you’ll have to solve as your kids grow up. Geeze, just do what you do and get on with it.

Let me ask you this:

Are you suggesting that the mothers involved in this discussion are wasting their time simply because they have children? And should then be spending all of their time raising their kids and not having meaningful discussions and yes, arguments, about how to treat other human beings, the decisions they make as parents, and the accountability of major corporations?

Regardless of what stage of motherhood any of us are in, if any, I believe we should all think as individuals and as women. Whether that means arguing sometimes or hunkering down and thinking only about our kids. I think the most hateful thing anyone can to do a mother is suggest that she focus solely on her role as a parent and not on her life as a woman.

I’m glad people are talking and even fighting here.

And I can’t help but notice that despite your years of wisdom and all that you have on your plate that you’ve also taken the time to read and comment.

I’ve read almost all of the comments, and while mostly annoyed, I’ve decided to table my intended commentary – that being a facetious comment about how formula is verboten, but Happy Meals should be just fine for (totally made up statistic) 90% of households. I’m left with this: Breast is not ALWAYS best. Period.

These irrational arguments that spur out of die-hard, insulting lactivists’ (which I know are not the majority, and I’m all for boobs, myself. Been there, done that, for a year.) need to convince the world of both the horror of ‘fake breast milk’ and their disenchantment with big corporations (speak on, sisters), has been catalysed by the Internet. It’s creating hatred, division, blindness to our COMMON goal: for our children to be healthy.

Yes, as mothers, we should censor the subtext of our celebratory comments, and we definitely shouldn’t look down upon others who don’t do as we do, or poke fingers, or heaven forbid, insinuate that they’re basically asking for their child to get sick.

So, the facts. People choose formula for a wealth of reasons, convenience and lack of education being two of them. But people who choose formula are not truly totally deserved of scorn – they’re still parenting and feeding their children. More so, tossing out ‘breast is best’, regardless of how insulting it may be, is also not true.

Breast is not best for HIV positive mothers, whose children have tested negative. Or those with TB. Or mothers suffering from extreme PPD, who find the pressure of nursing to exacerbate there condition. It’s not for mothers on medication that could filter through their milk – like cancer patients, those on one of the large majority of available psychotropics that are considered unsafe for BFing, regular painkillers like morphine. Breast is not best, if the mom is an alcoholic or drug addict. Basically, breast is not best for children who would be harmed, via their ingestion of milk, or whose mothers would be harmed psychologically by providing it.

Nothing is cut and dried, dudes.

[...] other day my friend Leah posted a link to this blog post: “The Similac Formula Recall is Not a Punchline.” It’s brilliant, if for no other reason, it gives those women and men who use formula [...]

I so strongly agree. I bet the adoptive parents who were never given the opportunity to breastfeed don’t think it is so funny either.

Thank you.

What about encouraging more breastmilk banking and working on making that a cheaper and more realistic option? Then those who can’t breastfeed could still have the option of providing their baby with breastmilk.

It’s possible that after years of sacrifice to breastfeed our children, we are just relieved that we don’t have to deal with *this* particular issue. It’s possible that we don’t care how you feed your baby, and we assume that you don’t care how we feed ours. It’s possible that we’re just happy that we don’t have to deal with this particular annoyance. It’s very, very possible that we don’t care if you (or others) think we’re snarky or not.

Clearly.

And clearly you missed the obvious distinction between expressing relief and mocking formula feeding moms.

Your tone is hostile and assumes that my relief is some sort of dig. I went through one hell after another to keep my babies on the breast and it nearly killed me. I will not apologize for my relief, no matter who thinks I’m mocking whom.

I don’t know how to make it ANY clearer that the comments I wrote this post about were JOKES.

I’m sorry you read this and felt, for some reason, that it applied in any way at all to your personal situation or anything you’ve said to anyone anywhere. That’s simply not the case and I’m pretty sure no one is asking you to apologize for anyone.

I would venture to say that breastmilk is still best for ALL of these babies you mentioned…if you could get it from a safe source, like a breastmilk bank. If only that could be more affordable and convenient.

I understand where you’re coming from, and I see that you’re very pro-bank and donated milk – I donated a small amount of milk, myself, 130 oz – but not everyone is comfortable with the donation of their baby drinking another mother’s milk (sure, it’s fine for cows, goats, etc.) – and so, even in more available and affordable, you can’t count on the fact that it would be widely adopted, especially over the clinical-nature and ease of formula. I have no argument with donation, but like I said, black and white isn’t true for everyone.

Thank you for your post. Well thought out. I also read most of the comments. I think all of our WIC staff should read it. Sometimes compassion is forgotten but this is the time for it. It’s a tough time in GA with all the troubles with some lots of formula. Mom’s are scared and confused. We are using as much gentle compassion as we can. We may want our mom’s to breastfeed; however, for the mom’s who are coming in or calling us; they need reassurance and support. Most do not have the option anymore to BreastFeed. They either chose to Formula Feed or were forced to Formula Feed months ago. When they made the decision they made it in good faith that the formula they were feeding was “safe and adequate”. Now they are probably feel some guilt but mostly fear for their baby.

We need infant formula. We need safe infant formula to continue. In general Abbott Labs has tried to do a good job with their formulas. All it takes is one employee to not follow procedures and the contaminants are there. Abbott Labs (when they were Ross) was one of the first companies to develop alot of the Metabolic Formulary for infants with diseases that could kill them if they had more than the exact right amount of Breastmilk; if the baby could have it at all. Many babies lives were saved and continue to be saved by the work that Ross Labs did. We need the formula companies and their employees to function at the highest level every day for the safety and continued adequate growth of babies for whatever reason they are formula fed. We must also do the work of improving BreastFeeding Support and Services in this country.

I am glad that read all the comments and this blog; I think it will help to remind me of compassion as I work with WIC moms in GA.

THANK YOU! All 3 of my kids were preemies and could not breastfeed. I managed to pump for a month and a half for my twins, for a whopping 2 oz a session, before my milk dried up. Then we had to switch to formula. Just because it is easy for someone else, doesn’t mean it is easy for everyone. I to think “breast is best” but breast isn’t always an option.

So you would not hesitate to say, in front of a paraplegic, “thank god I have the ability to use my legs and don’t have to worry about any of these issues!”

Even if you really only meant that you were thankful to god for the ability to walk, you wouldn’t say that. Your intentions don’t always matter. The issue is sometimes all about the setting and the context.

There are plenty of places for you to speak about how joyful you are at your ability to breastfeed, and that is your right (and good for you, really!). But at some times, in some places, it is just not appropriate. In certain settings, such as when moms who formula feed their VERY loved babies are learning there may be beetle parts in their name brand, supposedly top of the line formula, formula that they spend oodles of money on so they can do the best they can for their little ones, it is not only inappropriate, but hurtful.

We all say things that are unintentionally hurtful. We teach our children to be mindful of others’ feelings. We also teach them that sometimes you hurt people without meaning too, and the best thing to do when that happens is to learn from it, express that you didn’t intend hurt, and try to do better next time.

That’s not splitting hairs, not at all. I even saw someone say “As if you should be feeding your child Soylent Green anyway!”

Big hugs and good luck, lex. You are doing the best you can; that is all any of us can do.

I am guilty of being a militant boob-only, epidural-hating, no-circ, no-vax, etc. etc. mamma. Until I became a doula to lovingly spread the way – the RIGHT way, MY way – and discovered what an ass I was.

I long for the day when we stop vilifying each other for our personal choices.

I am so late with this but JESUS, I love you. xo

[...] and bottles online. Oy.). I LOVE Maria. She has an iron backbone and says it like she sees it. And this post pretty much had me standing up in my seat applauding because really, I loathe shitty/hateful/tactless behavior online. Every single person is better [...]

As a mom who can’t breastfeed due to medications I have to take, I thank you!

My eldest is my biological child, breastfed to 21 months (when he got giggly trying to latch on :>) ). My daughter spent her first 9 months in an orphanage in China, and was fed formula that fell under recall during the melamine scandal. The problem had been ongoing for a couple of years before the recall and she fell in the window. So. Does that make me a bad parent? Where do I fall on the scale of judging?

It seems better to allow all parents some grace, and assume that their boob/formula/organic choices are what works best for their family. Save the parenting criticism for cases requiring Child Protective Services, and then do it for the child’s sake not your own edification.

Excellent, excellent post. I found you through Loralee’s link.

I had a couple thoughts, which may be seen by few, but, what the heck.

My first thought is – breast milk is recalled all the time. Go on an antidepressant? Your breast milk is recalled. Go on a narcotic? Your breast milk is recalled. Go on cardiac medication? Seizure prevention medication? Steroids for allergies? Your breast milk is recalled. Your breast milk is unsafe.

And the scary part – what if medications at the moment we think are fine to take while nursing years from now we realize were not. But you didn’t get the recall notice in time. It seems that many women posting here who did not breastfeed did it for just that reason – their breast milk was recalled.

And my second thought is just one of confusion: I do not get being “proud” for breastfeeding. Or being “proud” for all the hard work it took to breastfeed. I breasted for the first nine months of my son’s life, including pumping in the craziest places you’ve ever heard from while I worked, and it never occurred to me to be *proud.* Huh? Should I be proud for putting him in a carseat? Or proud for making sure he was fed? Or proud for not spanking him when he had tantrums? I’ll buy “happy.” Or maybe “relieved.” You can be happy that you were privileged enough to breastfeed for as long as you could/was appropriate, but proud doesn’t register. You do what you believe is best for your child because you signed up for that when you chose to be a parent. But the word proud suggests you patting yourself on the back for doing what you volunteered to do. If you had the opportunity and means to breastfeed, you do. If it’s a struggle to keep it going or manage it logistically, I hear ya’ sister. I went through that too. Lots of things are hard – disciplining is hard, dealing with childhood illnesses. But…we do, cause it’s necessary. So the word “proud” truly confuses me.

And no one mentioned that fact that the highest incidence of bottle feeding in the US occurs in families who live in poverty. Why? Because mothers are working, often horrible, multiple jobs. And someone made a punchline out of their circumstances. Talk about kicking people when they’re down.

PS – Judgy McRantypants totally cracked me up.

Amen.

I breastfed, but OMG it’s not easy and if I wasn’t a SAHM (without a whole lot else to do) I might not have stuck with it.

My mom didn’t breastfeed me and I’m a healthy, well-adjusted adult. We bottle babies turn out JUST FINE.

Most parents just do the best they can. Who are we to judge????

In response to: “I do not know one woman who is a formula feeder (whether by choice or circumstance) that believes that ” a.) formula feeding is superior or b.) it’s just as good or c.) who cares what’s better – I can’t be bothered to breastfeed” so your assumptions are incorrect about the majority of formula feeding mothers.”Unfortunately I do. In my area of the country all you see *are* examples of those kinds of women. It’s sad – but true.

In all my circle of friends and acquaintances, one mother breastfed to three months and another made it to three weeks. The others have told me (and I quote) “Formula is just as good anyway, so why does it matter?” “I want my body to be MINE, not belong to my son/daughter.” “It’s just *too hard*!” “But if I breastfeed I won’t be able to leave my kid at grandma’s house for the weekend.” Oh, my favorite? “But formula was, like, MADE for babies so it must be better.”

Oh the ignorance and selfishness – it’s horrifying.

What an awesome post!!! I would have stood on my head to be able to breast feed – it wasn’t meant to be! Luckily I have 3 healthy kids. Thanks again – great post!

Your situation sounds very much like mine was (my son is now 9). After 1/2 days spent for several weeks at our local BF Clinic, and doing all the things you’ve mentioned. Finally when my son was 6 weeks the very kind lactation consultant told me that my job as a parent was to make sure my child was properly nourished and if that meant supplementing with formula than so be it, because in spite of everything I was doing he just wasn’t gaining weight like he should have been. I cried my eyes out and really felt like I had somehow failed but the truth is when I look around my son’s classroom I don’t see anything that tells me which kid was breast fed and which had formula. What I do see is a bunch of thriving, normal, mischievous kids, mine included. I also have a 6 yr old and 4 yr old all healthy too. Just do what you can and don’t be so hard on yourself – hugs

[...] The Similac Formula Recall is Not a Punch Line by @MariaMelee [...]

That’s just thoughtless. Have you been paying attention at ALL?!? Jeez…

I loved your comment! Thank you…

TAKE IT FROM ME SOME ONE WHO ACTUALLY LOST HER CHILD FROM THIS DAMN RECALLED BULLSHIT THE FACT IS STRESS DRIES YOU OUT I KNOW IT FIRST HAND HENCE THE REASON I HAD TO STOP BREAST FEEDING MY YOUNGEST SON WHO DIED THE POINT OF THE MATTER IS THE WHOLE MOMMY WARS ARE BULL SHIT HAVE A LITTLE SYPOTHY YOUD HATE FOR YOUR KID S TO GET SICK FOR ANY REASON THE BULL SHIT ABOUT WHICH IS BETTER DOESNT REALLY MATTR WHT MATTERS IS THAT THESE NEGLECTFULL BASTARDS ARE KILLING AND POISONING INFANTS WITH NO REMORSE HOW BOUT FIGHTING THAT ISSUE INSTEAD OF ARGUING OVER STUPID SHIT

[...] into some of the powdered formula manufactured at their Michigan plant. The Similac recall is not a joking matter, and our hearts go out to the families affected. However, it is an opportunity to point out that [...]