I’ve been called opinionated. (One time, an ex-boss got all red and sputtered I AM TIRED OF YOUR OPINIONS. I cried in the bathroom for like an hour. Because I’m totally hardcore.) I try to keep politics and drama off my blog, but here are a few things that have been swirling around the bouncy house that is my brain:
- Apple cinnamon oatmeal is a crime against humanity.
- Do not feed the trolls.
- Bloggers who pitch businesses saying “If you pay me $20 I will write a good review of your product” make the baby Jeebus cry.
- Brown sugar tastes better than white sugar.
- Twitter is somewhat desensitizing.
- Content thieves and plagiarists deserve to be set upon by a vengeful mob.
- There’s a fine line between flirtation and skeeviness.
- Just because you have opinions doesn’t make you king or queen of the Internet. We are small fishies, every one.
- Raisins do not belong in baked goods.
- Review blogs are fine. If they are engaging. Reader engagement trumps stats. I’ve been reading a few review blogs for well over a year. I either find them relevant, useful or just entertaining. I’ve purchased products they’ve mentioned.
- Poorly-written reviews and press-release-copypasta reviews devalue the work of others.
- Internet people are real.
- Nine times out of ten, the use of the term “mommyblogger” makes me want to throw rabid squirrels at someone’s face. Then I get sad.
- Icanhascheezburger.com is still funny.
- Mothers are not a homogeneous population. Life would suck if they were.
- Tim Gunn is a god among men.
- Twitter arguments run a fine line between thoughtfully engaging and absolutely tacky. I’ve gotten in my fair share.
- Laugh it off.
- Wanky Twitter fights are kind of like standing in the middle of the grocery store and getting in a shouting match with someone.
- Save the drama for your llama.
- My blog is my own little scrap of the Internet. I got here first. I stuck my kitten-emblazoned flag in the ground. I’m currently seeking minions and cabana boys and no one can tell me how to run my insignificant empire.
- Britney Spears is a victim of the media.
- Integrity can only be defined by the individual. Blogging with integrity is a good idea, but not necessarily one that can be enforced—or rather, blogging without integrity is difficult to call out. That being said, I think it’s a lovely idea to make a pledge or promise. It would be naïve to assume that a badge guarantees “a blog with integrity.” But I truly think it’s a good gesture and a step in a positive direction when a individual blogger thinks long and hard about what it means, to them, to blog with integrity.
- Margaritas should always be served on the rocks, with salt, and preferably with fresh-squeezed lime juice.
- I wish we all, myself included, devoted half as much time to positive endeavors as we do to hashing and re-hashing the same drama over and over and over.
- Sometimes, instead of writing, I just talk. When writing isn’t easy, it’s hard.
- Pickles and lettuce do not belong in burgers.
- Tweeting “I’m looking for a sponsorship to ______” into the vast chasm of the Internet is similar to standing on a corner asking for money. Except it’s less effective. Take the conversation to email. You might be surprised at how well it turns out.
- Everyone is allowed two or three “my young kids are at Wal-Mart/Restaurant/Social Event past 10:30pm” instances a year. After that, you kind of suck.
- None of this is really a big deal.
- Sean Connery, Harrison Ford and Michael Caine recently aged beyond the Age Of Dudes I’d Make Out With.
- Oftentimes, the best course of action is turning off your computer and walking away. This is also the hardest course to take.
- You can make your own luck.
- American Idol is extremely entertaining.
- Everyone was a newbie once. Jumping down someone’s throat, calling him or her out publicly or otherwise attacking him or her for being a beginner is bad, bad karma.
- A hug is more effective than an opinion.
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